pyrajane’s #42 Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids by by Kenzaburō Ōe, translated by Paul St. John Mackintosh and Maki Sugiyama
Have you ever read a book or watched a movie that you knew wasn’t going to end well, but for some reason you stuck with it? You had a sinking feeling in your stomach that slowly hardened into a rock and just sat there, pressing down, letting you know that things were not going to be OK at the end. Bad things were coming. You know it, but you’re going to stand here and watch.
That’s this entire book.
As soon as I started reading I kept asking myself “Are you sure you want to do this?” For some reason I decided that yes, I did want to keep reading. I prepared myself to be shocked, sad and depressed. I knew before I even finished the introduction to the author and his writings that this was going to be one of those books that you can’t shrug off and walk away from and it was going to leave me physically affected. I was going to be twitching off the sensation of not wanting to remember. The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien did this to me. I kept wondering why I was reading the book and I had a sick feeling in my stomach, but the book felt important and I felt like I should know what happened, and that’s why I kept reading Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids.
I haven’t even gotten to the part where I talk about the book and my face is already twisted into a grimace of not wanting to think about this anymore.