Baxlala’s #CBR4 Review #32: Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn
WHOA. You guys. I had this document sitting in my Google Docs for months and I thought for sure that I’d written something about this book and that I just needed to revise it but NO I haven’t written anything at all and now I don’t remember, like, anything about it. But I’ll try. FOR CANNONBALL!
Ahem. This book is about some kid who can’t stop sucking his thumb. This would normally make me feel bad but this kid is kind of an asshole (you can tell the author was going for a Holden Caulfield vibe but…well, Holden is kind of an asshole, too, so I guess the author was successful) and it doesn’t really seem like him sucking his thumb really messes his life up all that much. I mean, yeah, I could definitely be forgetting something but I don’t think he got, like, beat up or made fun of or anything because he sucked his thumb. His dentist mocked him for it but I think that was because he was worried about his teeth because do you know how much sucking your thumb messes up your teeth? A LOT. It’s true. I used to work for an orthodontist.
Faux-lden Caulfield gets hypnosis to stop sucking his thumb, but it messes with his brain (it’s just like Office Space (no it’s not)) and he gets ADD instead. Thus begins his journey blah blah blah having a family is hard blah blah being a teenager is hard blah dee blah dee blah. I don’t know. I neither hate nor love this book. I’m indifferent. I didn’t care about any of the characters and was sort of hoping for bad things to happen to them, because I’m an asshole. I had very similar feelings when I was reading Up in the Air, which is by the same author, which probably means I can skip all of his other novels.
So yeah. MEH.