Cannonball Read IV

A bunch of Pajibans reading and reviewing and honoring AlabamaPink.

Archive for the tag “Walter Kirn”

Baxlala’s #CBR4 Review #32: Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn

WHOA. You guys. I had this document sitting in my Google Docs for months and I thought for sure that I’d written something about this book and that I just needed to revise it but NO I haven’t written anything at all and now I don’t remember, like, anything about it. But I’ll try. FOR CANNONBALL!

Ahem. This book is about some kid who can’t stop sucking his thumb. This would normally make me feel bad but this kid is kind of an asshole (you can tell the author was going for a Holden Caulfield vibe but…well, Holden is kind of an asshole, too, so I guess the author was successful) and it doesn’t really seem like him sucking his thumb really messes his life up all that much. I mean, yeah, I could definitely be forgetting something but I don’t think he got, like, beat up or made fun of or anything because he sucked his thumb. His dentist mocked him for it but I think that was because he was worried about his teeth because do you know how much sucking your thumb messes up your teeth? A LOT. It’s true. I used to work for an orthodontist.

Faux-lden Caulfield gets hypnosis to stop sucking his thumb, but it messes with his brain (it’s just like Office Space (no it’s not)) and he gets ADD instead. Thus begins his journey blah blah blah having a family is hard blah blah being a teenager is hard blah dee blah dee blah. I don’t know. I neither hate nor love this book. I’m indifferent. I didn’t care about any of the characters and was sort of hoping for bad things to happen to them, because I’m an asshole. I had very similar feelings when I was reading Up in the Air, which is by the same author, which probably means I can skip all of his other novels.

So yeah. MEH.

Baxlala’s #CBR4 Review #25: Up in the Air by Walter Kirn

OK, you know what’s weird? Up in the Air the book is NOTHING LIKE Up in the Air the movie. Not really. I saw the movie when it came out and I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it. Though…I don’t remember a whole lot about it, other than George Clooney rides a lot of airplanes and sometimes has adorable interactions with Anna Kendrick and other kinds of interactions with Vera Farmiga. Also, George and Anna spend a lot of their time firing people. And Anna types all crazy, like this:

Um. Wait for it…

Huh, I can’t actually find a video of it. Here is a GIF of an otter instead:


ANYWAY. I’m not here to talk about Up in the Air the movie, no matter how much I liked it, so please disregard all of my above ramblings (I could just delete it all but look at how many words I’ve already written…I’m not starting over). I’m here to talk about Up in the Air the book. The book I read over a month ago and therefore remember almost none of, because in between reading Up in the Air and now, I’ve read The Mists of Avalon and EVERY SINGLE FABLES BOOK EVER. Which is great and all, but that’s a lot of fake-universe knowledge I now have knocking around in my brain, leaving very little room for Ryan Bingham’s exploits but WHATEVER, let’s see what I remember.

Ryan Bingham (who has one of the most forgettable names ever, I’ve had to look it up like five times now) has a really boring job that he tolerates because it allows him one major perk: constant travel. Now, those of you who have had to travel for work, especially those of you who travel frequently, are probably thinking, “that sounds awful, what’s wrong with this guy?” Well, I can’t tell you what’s wrong with him because that would ruin the entire book, so just read it already, geez.

Or don’t read it. I don’t care. I’m feeling pretty ambivalent about this book, honestly. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it. I didn’t really feel anything, good or bad, about any of the characters. I’d probably be mad about all of that if the book had taken longer to read, but in the end, it probably only took up a few hours of my life, so no big deal, right? I’ve spent far more time than that watching and rewatching my favorite TV shows PLUS ALSO I’ve spent at least 38 billion hours this week watching Olympics coverage so what I’m saying is…I don’t remember.

So. Yeah. Twoish (threeish?) stars and a big fat MEH for this one.

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